The Doctor looked up. The nurse made a knowing face and shook her head. The doctor peels off his mask and gazes at the time.

“I'm calling it” he said, “TOD, 11:31pm, we tried folks.” I literally was hovering inches over my body...face to face with the husk of who I was. It was as if something was saying... “Your dead....its over.” I peered at the doctor and then floated near the ceiling as the cover was pulled over my head and tubes were disconnected and I was wheeled out. I remember thinking, “What now?”I tried to reason with myself that the neurons dying in my brain were firing off for the last time and this was all hallucination. But there was still an acute awareness of self. I knew who I was and I was cognizant of the goings on in the next room. I was instantly in the next room as my family wept and said goobye to me. Suddenly, there was a whooshing sound. I was pulled toward the ceiling with tremendous force and shot straight up from the Earth toward space. As I accelerated, I realized that I was still thinking....I was still capable of thought. My mind raced back to when I was a child in the Immanuel Baptist Church of Manitou. All those bible stories....were they true? As I continued acceleration, I realized I was not alone but was being carried......by what....I do not know...nor can I describe it to you, as I have never seen anything like it. I tried to speak but it was driven soley by purpose. The planets appeared and disappeared in quicker order until I passed through Kuiper belt. Speed suspended into pure energy. Although I was pure energy I was still aware of the passage of spaces until we sped into a black point. It was during this moment that images flashed before my eyes.......friends and family longgone...friends I had left back in life.....I saw myself as a child.....as a teen......as a young adult......I saw my kids....They grew so fast.......all the thoughts I had ever had or expressed compressed into my mind and I was overwhelmed....then blackness....as if I had fallen asleep.

I stirred and moved, rolling over. Sand gave way beneath me as I turned. I raised up and noticed that I was not in sand but a soft place of shining precious stones. I ran them through my fingers and stood up. I looked around for the sun in this bright place but light was emanating from all around. It was pleasant weather and a gentle breeze caressed my face. I was aware suddenly of someone behind me. I could not turn. It was as if I knew if I turned, that I would not be able to bear the sight. The very essence of this person spoke to every molecule of who I was. I knew that I was in the presence of the Word of God, the Lamb that was slain, the Alpha and the Omega. I shuddered, and lowered to my face. I lay there....unable to blink....unable to move. When He said my name it sounded like the sound of rushing waters.......like a million voices speaking at once. “Nicholas, Rise.” I knew then how Lazarus must have felt when the same voice that called him from a tomb called mine. I had to obey...not out of fear but out a sense of wanted to rise...wanting to see....wanting to embrace. I kept my eyes cast down. The wind swept my hair as I slowly raised my eyes. When his eyes met mine I felt completely revealed to the very core. He knew everything. Why then was I here? The one that had doubted His presence, the one that had lived and loved, sometimes as if He did not exist but then there were the other times.....the time I walked the aisle...the time I cried out in the night to Him......the closeness I felt at the death of my parents. Fear and love rushed through at the same time. Not a fear like terror but a fear of knowing that truth stared me in the face and no amount of creativity on my part could change this truth. The fear, however subsided as He smiled. “Come, sit with me,” He said. We walked to a small rock and we sat down. “No.” He said. I looked puzzled at Him. “No, this is not Heaven.....almost.” “Y-you are J-J-Je--” “I am Jesus” He said. Instantly, I was on my knees. I felt His hand touch my shoulder then my face. Raising it to His, He smiled again. “Nicholas, you have nothing to fear from Me.” He said, “Let's walk.” We slowly walked along a dirt path. The more He talked, the more my heart sang. He turned to me. “Ask.” He said. “Why am I here?” I asked. He smiled. “Because of this.” He said, waving His hand. Instantly, I was back on Earth......it felt like the old Scrooge stories or “It's a wonderful life” but there I was, a teenager. I was walking the aisle. I knelt and said a tearful heartfelt prayer asking Jesus to save me, that I needed Him.....that I wanted a relationship with Him. Jesus smiled at me, “Watch...” I looked back and suddenly light bounced off of every corner, chasing the shadows away as the Son of God stood behind me and knelt beside me sliding His nailscarred hands around me....holding me. Suddenly we were back at the rock, sitting. “But....all the years.....I turned away....I just never was what I could have been.” I said.

“You're right, Nicholas...you weren't everything you could have been,” He said, standing, “I had such plans for you but as is the case in many people....the stuff of life pulled you away from Me.”

I sat feeling just a hint of shame. Jesus turned. “That feeling does not belong here,” He said in almost a command. The feeling passed and I stood. “But my Lord, all the things that I did, the things that were contrary to what the bible said...... they seem to call out...to accuse me.” I said. “That is the voice of the accuser......but he is all but silent now......” Jesus turned, “Hush! Be silent!” The accusations ceased. “But surely Lord, all that I did will keep me from Your Heaven!” I said. Jesus smiled....... “Is it not written, 'Nothing shall be able to pluck you from My Father's hand?'” I stood there, my eyes beholding the Fairest of 10000. I stood incredulous. Jesus smiled. “It is really quite simple.....when you committed to me, I committed to you. I never left you. I was disappointed many times but nonetheless, you are one of Mine, nothing can change that. Would you ever turn your back on your children? Leave them in their times of hurt and trial. No, you were a good father, you would have waited for them...pursued them......ached to hold them....just as I have ached for you.” I couldn't believe my ears. Jesus stood, “Behold the wounds that are the propitiation of sin. All this was done for you and for many that seek to live a beautiful life and to find love.” “Lord, many accused your church of terrible things.....things like the cruscades, the inquistions, the.....the abuse in the church.” I said, “And that made me cynical.....I should have known but I was cynical.” Jesus stood and knowingly looked toward the horizon. “All those things were done my man......in the name of My Father...even though He never ordered such action....though He never wanted men to hurt, rape, pillage, burn, or all the atrocities committed in His name. It is man that did those things....of their own accord. I suppose that the Father could have smote them but even then, they that accuse would say that He was meddling with freewill. Because of sin, those things happened and were done by the greed and evil desires of man. The true church has always been, though, people helping people, loving people, ministering, sharing, hoping, guiding, and turning their hearts to God, the Father. They those evil things will face their Lord for what they did. My love has never diminished...even for them, had they turned and repented. I am love.....I willingly left my throne and showed the love of a Father that has loved you with an everlasting love. The gift is free. All that remains is for them to accept the gift...just as you did, my son.” “And now I am here.” I said. Jesus stood and smile at me. “And now it is time for you to return,” Jesus said. “But Lord, I want to be here with You,” I said, not wanting to depart from the wonder of His presence.
“Your family has prayed for you to return, and I have compassion on them...therefore I shall return you to your Earthly life. You will come to me someday....but not today....Nicholas.....remember the gift.” Suddenly, I was back......I stirred under the sheet......the orderly flinched. “OH MY! We gotta Lazarus here!” He shouted.....I was wheeled back into the trauma room as the doctors and nurses looked on in amazement. A short time later, I reunited with my weeping, happy family. My wife held me close. “I couldn't live without you....what happened?” I smiled. “Do I have a story for you!” ------The End.